Category: Here are some clues:
Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
Your partner is controlling reading your mail or howing up at places you are just to heck up on you.
Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
You have changed things about yourself to please them.
Toxic people cause you to feel sick just being around them. So, why would anybody finish up in a dangerous relationship? Why would anybody wish to be with someone that makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?
A toxic relationship has a cycle. There a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation at which point the cycle begins anew.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they are sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out.
One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they are doing it. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.
But step 1 in getting out and staying out of damaging relations is to notice that you do have selections. Often people who stay in these couples have low self worth or have depression.
Once you notice that you have selections, the following step is to start standing up for yourself. In most damaging relations, the harmful partner has taught you that it’s all your fault. Once you purchase into this, it can be extraordinarily tough to either stroll away from the relationship or set new boundaries that may heal the relationship.
For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.
The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.
The first thing you want to choose is that the relationship must improve or you are prepared to walk away. If you are not ready to walk off you will never be in a position to heal that which divides you.
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that’s at the center of a poisonous relationship, you can begin to assert what you want from the link. Don’t the other person. Simply say need your support, need your love,or need your honest viewpoint.
If you aren’t getting what you want, the other person should know that you’re prepared to stroll.
A good relationship is a 2 way street. In a harmful relationship, the street is only going one way. You’ve got the power to switch that, but you have to take the power into your own hands.
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Stewart L. Haney
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