Don’t Be A Fool When Dealing With Break Up
Having trouble dealing with break up and looking for help, especially if you are still in love with your ex? You need to decide initially whether you want to win them back or if you need help to move forward with your life.
When dealing with break up, if you decide to move on, the help you need will depend mainly on how bad the end of the relationship was. If it was extremely emotionally and draining, then it is likely that you will need months to get over it enough to be able to move forward. T
When coping with break up, the first thing to do is to rebuild your self-esteem and one part of that is to look after yourself. It is understood that you probably don’t feel like going out a lot, but do try. Make yourself a time limit to sit and be miserable. When dealing with breakup, remember it might NOT be your fault even if you feel it is. Stop wondering if it was something you had done or not done, it is unlikely it would have caused the breakup, but it could have been the catalyst that triggered it.
If you are dealing with break up, make sure any help you get is focused on looking after you. Don’t worry about your ex here, let them find their own way even if you do still have substantial feelings for them as it isn’t your responsibility any more.
You may find talking to a professional will help you get things into perspective, so do this as soon as possible. Remember, if you are feeling emotional you will also be particularly vulnerable, the sooner you start rebuilding your self-esteem the better.
Dealing with break up will require you to decide whether you want to try to get your ex back. If this is what you want, then you still need to rebuild your self-esteem and put yourself first. In addition, you need to develop a strategy so you are tough enough to try and make up with your ex.
When you have moved through the first hurtful stages of the breakup and feel more strong, this is the time to make an initial contact with your ex. Ask for a meeting somewhere completely neutral. When you meet up, remain calm and try not to get emotional. Explain that you still have feelings for them and that you’ve had time to think and would like another chance to make your relationship work. Take the time to listen to your ex and hear their point of view, whether you agree or not, you do need to listen.
Don’t try and force any decisions there and then, give them time to think and wait for them to contact you. Be honest, this is a gamble that could go either way. You must accept that by deciding to try again, you will have done all you can. If you are spurned again you must move on with your life and believe that fate has something else in mind for you. Dealing with breakup is never easy but don’t blame just yourself, it takes two to tango!
Making up with your ex is not inconceivable, the Magic of Making Up may help you in coping with break up and getting back with your ex.
Coping with a breakup
Some relationships endures several years before fading, while some end all of a sudden. Whatever the reason for the separation, it will always involve pain and grief. But there are ways to deal with a breakup. Here are some tips to survive the fall-out.
Accept it’s over
The initial reaction after a breakup is shock. However, some people are very hard to accept the fact and they still need to be told that the relationship is over even though they know it’s now really working out.
However, to some people, the reality of a breakup is hard to sink in and takes months to finally accept it. These people usually daydream of reconciling with their ex and a reunion.
Understanding what went wrong
Dealing with a breakup mean accepting what went wrong with the relationship so you can take the first step to your early recovery. Do not dwell on the blaming game and identifying who was at fault. It won’t help if you look for your faults or asking yourself if you deserve the fate. The most positive approach is to focus on the relationship itself, instead of dwelling on fault-finding.
It is more positive to ask questions such as “How was things when you first stated dating?,” “What attracted you to each other,?What was special with the relationship?”How did you and your partner changed?”What outside factors that may have influenced your union?” Where did you fail to make the necessary adjustments?”
The answers to your questions may be hard to swallow, but understanding the reasons will make it easier for you to let go and move forward. You may feel confusion, guilt, betrayal, sadness, anger and all sorts of emotions.
Keeping it together
Aside from these many emotions you are undergoing, there are many issues that you have to address immediately when dealing with a breakup. These includes:
The children – This is the most important and the most difficult task to address. You have to make arrangements for support, and time, parental access, childcare, informing the school, visitation to in-laws, birthday and Christmas.
Money and property – You also have to face the decision on who take possession of which property. Will the house belong to you or to the other party? And who gets to keep the dog? You have to manage the finances now that you have lesser income.
Friends and family – What will you tell your parents/siblings/extended family members/friends? How much should you tell them. And you should also maintain relationships with your in-laws.
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