Stuttering And Dating
Forming relationships with members of the opposite sex is hard enough for many fluent people. Just think for a few moments about how difficult it is for people who suffer with the speech impediment known as stuttering! This was something that I had developed as a young child and despite plenty of stuttering therapy it just kept on destroying my life.
I had a stammer up until the age of twenty-two, at this point I managed to overcome the problem after a lot of hard work. For many years I wondered if I would ever meet a girl who would be willing to be my girlfriend. I used to think in a very negative way and would often ask myself questions such as, why would any girl want to go out with me? What kind of girl is going to want to date somebody who has a lack of confidence and a stutter?
If I meet a girl I will have to meet her friends and family. I used to dread meeting new people as they always seemed to ask so many direct questions such as where do you work? I wanted to have a shirt printed with all of the answers to the most popular questions as I would normally stammer under the pressure. To point to the particular answer or to say the number would be just far simpler.
I met my first ever girlfriend when I was eighteen, what a stud! I have to say she was superb and did not seem to care that I had a stammer. She was even happy to order my drinks and food for me and was basically a very nice girl. For whatever reason I did not believe that I was good enough for her and constantly worried that she would dump me. As you can see I was a very positive person. How would I cope if she left me? How long would it take me to meet somebody else who would be willing to date somebody with a stammer?
This girl did leave me but I did date her for fourteen months. Despite the doubts I did cope and was pleasantly surprised to find that the majority of women were not phased whatsoever by the fact that I had a stutter. The dating game was still rather troublesome and stressful especially at the beginning.
I am now an SEO consultant from the UK; I now have a wife and two beautiful children – I am also able to speak free from the fear of stuttering.
How To Stand Up To A Bully
I was a person who was an easy target for those nasty bullies. I had a speech impediment known as a stutter or a stammer. Despite attending different forms of stuttering therapy I was only able to achieve fluency when I was in my twenties.
I was rather an obese child and was a lot shorter than most of my friends.
I had hoped that people who I would meet at work would be rather more mature than these school kids – they are adults after all. I could not have been more wrong?
There was one main bully who made my life hell, his name was Gary. Gary constantly took the mickey out of myself and would mimmick my stuttering at regular intervals. I tried to not let it bother me, but it did. I let this continue for nearly year and by now I was feeling very depressed and was ready to quit.
I then read a book about the subject of bullying and it wrote about something which they called, playing the nutter card. Basically at for example work, you can be who you want to be. A nutter does not worry about another persons size or weight or power. They are willing to go one step further than the majority of people ane this is they way in which we have to threaten the bully – with belief – this way he/she is more likely to back up – after all they are all supposed to be cowards.
I decided to be brave and give it a go. Trying to fight back in a physical manner was not really an option due to the fact that Gary was probably twice the size of me. He does not know the people in my circle of friends though, I needed to convince him that they could.
On the day when I actually went for it, it had not been planned. I will have to admit that despite really wanting to do this I did not feel that I would have the courage. This day the bullying was very distressing and was in very bad taste. I was really mad and clocked out of work and went to wait by Gary’s car, but hidden behind a tree.
Gary eventually approached his car and went to unlock the door, as he did I jumped on his back but quickly fell off. He turned round with a shocked look on his face, however was happy when he saw that it was me. I started swearing at him and told him that I had had enough. I informed him that a number of my friends are a bit tapped in the head, but that they would do anything to help me. If I told them the abuse he was giving me, they would not be best pleased and would basically beat him to a pulp. I warned him that if he ever took the mickey out of me, that I would tell them and that he would then have to wait for his punishment to take place. I then ran off shaking.
The next day I went to work in a nervous state, I am happy to report he fell for the bait and was as good as gold after that.
I still left the company where I worked around six months later, but it was for the right reasons as I had been made a good offer by a company that provided Tesco Voucher Codes but in the end I opted to work for a group of cost reduction specialists. I am happy to report that only nice people work for this organisation.
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